Speak now or forever hold your peace

I just had an hour long phone conversation with this girl who used to be one of my best friends. It was really weird. I mean, the phone convo was fine but the fact that I was even talking to her was pretty strange. We haven't talked in over two years. I still think that it's really weird that we're not friends anymore. I guess we became too close too fast. We used to be reeeeally close. Maybe even closer than me and Katy. I knew that Katy didn't like her. Katy still doesn't like her lol. I have a feeling that she was jealous. Katy and I have a weird relationship. We never hug or link arms but we both know that we're best friends, practically like sisters. Like an unspoken law.

Anyways, the point that I'd like to make is to always keep your friends close . No matter how many falling outs you've had, no matter how weird she/he has been lately, please just try to mend things. This girl was one of the greatest friends that a girl could ever wish for, but now I feel like it's too late. It was a great phone call but I can tell that we were both slightly wary and on our guard. I guess the fact that we've both had two whole years to change has only just emphasized the way we've grown apart. It was still nice though :)

Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?

I am really confused. Don't get it.

Oh, and I think I may just swear off guys forever. Become a nun. Yeah.

I was enchanted to meet you...

WHOA. It sure has been a long time since I last wrote on here. Sorry about that, guys!

Well, surely you've all heard about Hurricane Irene, right? If you haven't, well basically, it's a hurricane and it has been wrecking and creating havoc all over the east coast. It has recently just practically destroyed New York. Stupid freaking hurricane. Because of its presence, my family and I are currently staying with some cousins in this place near Los Angeles on the west coast. Thanks for taking us in, guys! Ah, love 'em.

Though the hurricane is terrible, there is one good thing that has come out of it. I met a guy!! :D

We all went to this house-warming party at some family friend's house. The hostess was one of my mom and dad's old friends, and I felt totally bad because she was like, "Do you remember me?" to me and I had no idea who she was. BUT ANYWAY. There was nobody my age there, just old people and adults. Until this guy came with his parents. In this white BMW, might I add. Rich folks, I thought. Saw the people come in. A tall glasses-wearing man, a petite woman and their son. Who was tall and slim. Ooh, I thought (I love tall guys, you see). He was wearing a T-shirt, jeans and a blazer. Like, an expensive looking one. Ooh la la, I thought.

Well, it took me forever to actually get talking to him because I had no idea what to actually say. Then my mom introduced me to him (thanks Mom!!) and then we talked and talked...we literally talked for hours. About so many things; just random crap. He is really nice, funny PLUS, he had great hair. Yeah, I could kind of tell that he was a little vain because his hair was all perfectly styled and he was so cool-looking...but HECK I'm willing to overlook all that because I think I've just found my perfect guy!! XD

I wonder what he thinks of me. There were some of his friends there but he didn't go over to talk to them, he stayed and talked to me so that must mean he likes me a little bit, right? Then later, in the evening, his stupid friends came over to talk to him (which I wasn't very happy about but hey, life is unfair sometimes).

OH he's so cute! The way he talks, the way he moves his eyebrows when he talks... (when he was talking to me, he did this thing with his eyebrows; sort of twitches them and frowns in this really cute way, as though he's confused/thinking). I also love the way he towers over me. I am short of his shoulder by a couple of inches XD.

He's 19 :D aaaand...he goes to college in England. In London. Wow. He really must be rich. His name is Zack...

But you know, being the idiot that I am, I don't know my own number and it totally slipped my mind that I could have used my mom's, dad's or brother's phone to get it. So he doesn't have my number, I don't have his...URGH I AM GOING CRAZY HERE!! Luckily, because his family is friends with some of MY family's friends, I haven't lost him completely. Haha.

Sorry for the long post. I had a lot going on in my mind :)

Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you

Today has been very eventful for me. For starters, Will started talking to me! YAY! But on the negative side, I was so nervous, I barely said anything back. This is bad because you see, when I don't smile, I look like I'm glaring. So he must think I'm a stone-cold evil psychobitch or something haha! Oh well. Also, I think he might think I have a thing going on with Alex because he's seen us two hanging out together alone a lot. What? Can't two friends who feel absolutely nothing for each other chill?

So Will asked me if my hair was naturally straight. I nodded. That was it. LOL. Well, I kept noticing him glancing at me and shit. Eh. Who am I kidding? I don't even like the guy much. He's alright. Good looking stoner. But has an annoying voice haha.

I heard some very interesting rumours about me. Apparently, I am currently dating Rafael. He's one of my new close friends. Never noticed him before but I'm in his Biology class. I thought this so-called little piece of truth was hilarious because I am so NOT dating Rafael. We're just friends. But it's so funny.

Oh! I'm going to London as part of a school trip in mid-July! Only for like, 3 days though. Hope the weather is nice!!

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?

I love how Taylor Swift's songs are so easy to relate to. And how they are so realistic! Many songs nowadays are all about love, sex and drugs, but Taylor's are so cute and innocent. Very teenager-like. She is totally my all-time celebrity idol.

It's funny how I freeze up and get all shy around Will. People say that I am really bubbly and perky. It's because he's so beautiful and perfect. I just wish his personality was as perfect. I've been told that he's really funny but his sarcasm can often come across as rude and insensitive. And that although he's good-looking, he would make a really bad boyfriend. It's such a shame; to let all that beauty go to waste. Only thing is, as gorgeous as he is, I personally don't think we'd go together very well because he's insensitive and sarcastic, whilst I am demanding and very sensitive. But we're both really impatient and cynical. So...actually, I don't know HAHA.

I did something rebellious a few days ago. I smoked. o_O!! Lol, actually it's not even that bad. Or rebellious. Though my parents would kill me if they found out.

It doesn't taste that bad, actually. The reason why I'm so surprised is because I hate the smell of it. It always gives me a headache and nausea. It pretty much tastes like how it smells but in your mouth, it's not so bad. Kind of hot but in a nice way (personally).

Also, I think my singing voice has deepened LOL. Like, gone huskier or something. It could because of that cold I got about a week or so ago. I recovered a couple of days ago and that horrible cough has majorly cleared up but it's lingering. I wonder if it was the presence of the cough that made my voice break!!
XD

Love me, hate me

I watched Prince of Persia and Donnie Darko last night, and I can safely admit that I have fallen in love with Jake Gyllenhaal. Like, completely. Of course I knew who he was (like, who doesn't?!) but I'd never found him that attractive. Until I watched Prince of Persia and Gyllenhaal talking in that delicious English accent was just...oh my GOD. So then I watched Donnie Darko (have watched this before, and previously thought he was just a weird character) and realized what a cutie he was 10 years ago! If he was my age and went to my high school, Christ, that boy would never be short of a date to the prom or whatever.

Now, is it just me or does Jake Gyllenhaal look slightly stoned sometimes? Or...all the time. Eh, it's probably just me. But yeah, the point is, I think he has a natural stoner face. And because of recent events (the beautiful Will), I've suddenly developed a taste for stoner boys.

By the way, have I mentioned that I've purchased my very first pair of circle lenses? They arrived like, 2 days ago. Jeez, I had a hard time concealing them from my mom. My dad doesn't give a shit but my mom...GOD that woman has the eyes of a hawk, I swear! When it arrived in the mail, I ripped a huge bright orange sticker from the back of the package (small, thank goodness) that said in big black letters, CIRCLE LENSES. Then I raced upstairs to hide it in my wardrobe. I was slughtly surprised bug greatly relieved that my mom didn't ask me what the package was, but the following day, sure enough, I heard those dreaded words, "So what was in the package?"

Gulp.

I said jewelry so smoothly that even I couldn't tell that I was lying! Wow, I am getting good. Not that it's anything I'm actually proud of. Lying is BAD, ya hear me?!

Anyways, maybe I'll post some photos later.

You can stand under my umbrella~

I want a lot of things but do you know what I really want? I want a wool coat with a furry hood. I know that it's summer and winter's a long way away but I've just always wanted a coat with a fur lined hood!! My mom's going to kill me because I've found the perfect one and I'm planning on buying it next weekend with her credit card. She's gonna freak because if I stop and think, I actually do already have numerous coats and besides, it's summer! But I really want it...!

I'm ill. It sucks because I've lost my voice. Hopefully my throat should heal and I'll be better by next week because I'm planning on recording some lines then. Bleurgh!

One thing I really hate is prejudice. And stereotypes and racism. Okay, that's 3 things but whatever. I saw some things on the internet - stuff like, "Why do Chinese people have small eyes and flat faces". By Chinese, they mean Asian people. That's really stereotypical and narrow-minded! Ignorant bastards. Sorry. Not ALL Asians have small eyes and "flat faces". Like, what does "small" really mean anyway? Limited in size? One person might think an object is small whilst another would disagree and say that it is big.

I'm really pissed off today for some reason. I think it's almost that time of the month...!