Like it or love it or leave it

Isn't jealousy a darned thing? It is definitely not my best friend. I hate it when I get all green-eyed. Speaking of which, green eyes are really beautiful, I love green eyes but only when they're in terms of eye color and not jealousy. Haha.

Oh god. I got a C in Biology and a C in Chemistry for this test and now my parents, especially my mom, keeps going ON about it. Can't they just let it go already? It's not like I'm destined to board the C-grade ship.

And about this Nick problem, I think I'm going to let it go. I really can't be bothered with him and I am soooo not going to wait for him to grow up and be a man! Lol. But seriously, I think I've wasted enough time on him (and you guys have wasted enough time reading about him lol). So now I will focus on things that truly matter. Shopping. Just kidding :) I mean school *yawn*

I've gone off Vampire Diaries and recently I've become obsessed with Gossip Girl again. I've only gone and downloaded the entire first season and part of the second. I know I'll get sick of it and eventually drift back to Vampire Diaries. It's a vicious cycle, I swear!

All my agony fades away when you hold me in your embrace

I haven't been feeling like myself recently. Is it bad that all i need is him? And by him, I mean Nick. Its really bad because I actually feel like shit and depressed because I feel so lost. I seriously don't know what to do. I think I should tell him how I feel. If he's my friend...he deserves the right to know. I'm so scared that I'm falling in love with him. I'm not kidding. This is serious. And I'm really afraid that our friendship will be ruined because he doesn't feel the same way. I only wish I could stop myself from falling so hard.

I don't know how he feels towards me because we never have massive heart to hearts about feelings. Never. Even though he's my best guy friend. I don't know why but I think we both feel this big awkwardness hanging in the air whenever we mention 'feelings'. He's really hard to read sometimes. I heard a rumour a while back that he liked me and Rina told me she overheard that one of his friends saying, 'you like her, don't you?' and referring to me, but idk. It could be and it might not be.

I know that life isn't supposed to be easy but I really wish that it was sometimes.

One heart to break

I am having the worst day EVER. Like, ever.

I got out of school early because I went to the nurse's office and told her I wasn't feeling so good. She felt my forehead and said I had no temperature so I knew that I had to turn to more drastic measures. So I went into the toilet and threw up. Made myself threw up. That's bad, I know. I'm not bulimic though, I swear. I've never made myself throw up before, this is the first time. And may I just say right now that I WILL NEVER EVER DO IT AGAIN.

I just feel like absolute shit today. I just - I thought I got over Nick over Christmas break. It was nice to just get away but now? I think I'm falling for him again. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN! I can't stop think about him. See? It sounds so lame. This is so freaking disgusting. I hate this sick, soppy feeling. GRRR. I mean, it's not like he's the most attractive person in the entire world. He's not pretty like Paul Wesley, or sexy like Ian Somerhalder. Or, beautiful and godlike like Jamie. But he is my friend. The friend that I'm scared of falling in love with. Well, love is a bit of a strong word, so let's call it a crush. How middle-school of me, right? XD

My iPhone has broke. I dropped it in a mug of coffee. I'm awesome. Oh but I'm so dead when my mom finds out. She's gonna freaking kill me. Haha XD Maybe I can hide it from her. Yeah, sure I can ;)

One chance to keep from falling...

I am a total Vampire Diaries geek. LOOOL.

I got hooked onto it a couple of months or so back and because I got into it so late into the series, I missed the entire first season and the first 7 episodes of the second season. Well actually, I watched Miss Mystic Falls (the 19th episode of season one) and didn't get it, so I didn't watch the rest of it. But then I remembered sometime later and curiosity drew me in to watch it again. So I caught the 7th episode of season two (Masquerade) and then I kept watching the rest of it from then on :)

But obviously I didn't really understand because I had missed the entire first season (except the 19th one haha) so my dad got me the season one DVD for Christmas so I've been catching up like the geek that I am haha :3 so now I understand! *GEEK*

Now all I need is to catch up on the first 7 episodes of season two! I've bought The Return episode (2x01) off iTunes so I've watched it, saw the return of Katherine, saw John Gilbert leav (for now, presumably), saw Jeremy die and come back to life again and witnessed (omg) Damon's feelings come out! Aw.

Right now, I'm watching Bad Moon Rising (2x03). I've JUST finished watching Brave New World (2x02) and Caroline's a vampire after being smothered with a pillow by Katherine and having Damon's blood in her system at her time of death...

Wow xD This is a post dedicated to me and me watching Vampire Diaries haha. GEEEEEK :P

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

EEEK! I'm sorry!! I forgot to wish you all a Happy Christmas! I got busy and then my mom and dad had loads of people over and it was all so crazy (but fun at the same time). I had a great Christmas. Did you?

I went shopping earlier today - shopping for last minute essentials for this party at this girl who's in my Chem class. The party's at 9pm.. there's still a while yet but I'm going to get ready soon so this will be very short.

I hope you've all had a KICK-ASS 2010 and I wish you all the best for the New Year!!! :)

Live like there's no tomorrow

Wouldn't it be really weird if you knew exactly what was going to happen in your life? You'd know whether or not you'd get to live out your dream. You'd know how many children you'd have. You'd know exactly when and where you'd meet the love of your life. "The One". That would be pretty cool. But then again, you'd know when you'd die. That's horrible. I don't want to know. It's weird that every year, you're passing your deathday but you don't know. Unless you choose it for yourself.

You know how everyone always says that honesty is the best policy and that a good relationship is an honest one? Like, with no secrets? That's great, but where's the mystery? Where's the element of surprise? You have to admit that it's exciting when your boyfriend comes back after being away for a week and you have no idea what he's been doing. Or maybe I'm just twisted that way. If there were no secrets in a relationship, wouldn't it be a little...boring?

But I'm not a fan of lying, don't get me wrong, I'm all up for telling the truth. However sometimes a little white lie is necessary to dig yourself out of unintentional and metaphorical holes.

I haven't blogged for a while now and I have a lot to say. That's why, if you're reading this (if you are then hooray - pat yourself on the back!) you might think that I'm being a bit scatty and the topic focus keeps changing.

I'm really glad that it's almost Christmas because that means Christmas break - yay! That means no school - double yay! I swear, teachers have nothing better else to do than to load mountains of assignments and schoolwork onto the shoulders of their students. The question is WHY?! Doesn't more assignments mean more marking for them? That equals more work and more time taken out of their free time. I should take up this argument with my History teacher. She's a massive fan of assignments. Her motto = all work and no play makes you a better person everyday! Yeah, I know, that doesn't makesense at all - haha! I just made it up on the spot and I'm no good at this poetry business.

I can feel a headache coming along. Great. I'm off now, but I'll write a little something here on the 25th. Just to wish everyone a Merry Christmas :)

I think I'll be brave, starting with you

Thanksgiving was great!...and bad at the same time because...

IT WAS AWESOME because I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on Sunday and I think it was totally freaking awesome....!! Though, I know quite a few people who said that it was poor...and that they were expecting it to be way better. They said that the trailer was awesome but the actual movie was *bleep*. HOW DARE THEY?! I think it was good :)

IT WAS BAD because I was ill :( Yes. And even worse, I was ill on a day when there was no school and wait, it gets better! The next day (when we had school), I was better so I had to go to school. Eurgh. xD

I went shopping today. Bought a cute skirt and a pretty jacket. My mom gave me like, $150 to buy a new coat and I got this greyish-greenish coat from H&M, which is kind of cool military-chic, but now I want a classic kind of coat. One in maybe a pretty navy-blue/midnight blue shade? A nice dark blue color. Not the high-school dark blue color. Ew.

Lucky it's almost Christmas. Christmas = presents! Everybody loves getting presents :)