You're too damn scared to fly

Hey guys! It's been AGES since my last post, hasn't it? Yes, it really has. I'm sooo sorry about that! I've just been so freakin busy these last few months. I've told you how my ambition is to move to England, right? Well, study there, at least. Right.

So.
You're all probably wonderin why I'm up at 7AM in the morning just to write a freakin blog post. Well, the thing is, I'm not in New York right now and it's almost 12:30PM, not 7:30AM. That's right, I'm in England! Because we're all on vacation, my mom and dad dragged us onto a plane (on Saturday, I think?) to visit our cousins from across the pond. It's not that cold, actually. I'm pretty sure that it would be colder back home. It's also not raining. I repeat, NOT RAINING. I know, I thought it would be raining too. Or at least, snowing. Surprising, isn't it? Actually, a couple of days ago, it did snow a little bit. But then it rained (typical!) and washed the white blanket away. So sad!

And later today (or tonight, more like), I'm going out. To a bar. Heh. No, I'm not going for the keg. My cousin's taking me to see this band. Of boys. Yummy. Haha, they go to her high school and she has like, a crush on the frontman so she's going. And apparently I have to go too, so she can show me how hot he is. We Facebook stalked him and yeah, I wasn't feeling it. Apparently tonight, 'I'm gonna be wrong'. Heh, can't waaaait!

Xx

Speak now or forever hold your peace

I just had an hour long phone conversation with this girl who used to be one of my best friends. It was really weird. I mean, the phone convo was fine but the fact that I was even talking to her was pretty strange. We haven't talked in over two years. I still think that it's really weird that we're not friends anymore. I guess we became too close too fast. We used to be reeeeally close. Maybe even closer than me and Katy. I knew that Katy didn't like her. Katy still doesn't like her lol. I have a feeling that she was jealous. Katy and I have a weird relationship. We never hug or link arms but we both know that we're best friends, practically like sisters. Like an unspoken law.

Anyways, the point that I'd like to make is to always keep your friends close . No matter how many falling outs you've had, no matter how weird she/he has been lately, please just try to mend things. This girl was one of the greatest friends that a girl could ever wish for, but now I feel like it's too late. It was a great phone call but I can tell that we were both slightly wary and on our guard. I guess the fact that we've both had two whole years to change has only just emphasized the way we've grown apart. It was still nice though :)

Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?

I am really confused. Don't get it.

Oh, and I think I may just swear off guys forever. Become a nun. Yeah.

I was enchanted to meet you...

WHOA. It sure has been a long time since I last wrote on here. Sorry about that, guys!

Well, surely you've all heard about Hurricane Irene, right? If you haven't, well basically, it's a hurricane and it has been wrecking and creating havoc all over the east coast. It has recently just practically destroyed New York. Stupid freaking hurricane. Because of its presence, my family and I are currently staying with some cousins in this place near Los Angeles on the west coast. Thanks for taking us in, guys! Ah, love 'em.

Though the hurricane is terrible, there is one good thing that has come out of it. I met a guy!! :D

We all went to this house-warming party at some family friend's house. The hostess was one of my mom and dad's old friends, and I felt totally bad because she was like, "Do you remember me?" to me and I had no idea who she was. BUT ANYWAY. There was nobody my age there, just old people and adults. Until this guy came with his parents. In this white BMW, might I add. Rich folks, I thought. Saw the people come in. A tall glasses-wearing man, a petite woman and their son. Who was tall and slim. Ooh, I thought (I love tall guys, you see). He was wearing a T-shirt, jeans and a blazer. Like, an expensive looking one. Ooh la la, I thought.

Well, it took me forever to actually get talking to him because I had no idea what to actually say. Then my mom introduced me to him (thanks Mom!!) and then we talked and talked...we literally talked for hours. About so many things; just random crap. He is really nice, funny PLUS, he had great hair. Yeah, I could kind of tell that he was a little vain because his hair was all perfectly styled and he was so cool-looking...but HECK I'm willing to overlook all that because I think I've just found my perfect guy!! XD

I wonder what he thinks of me. There were some of his friends there but he didn't go over to talk to them, he stayed and talked to me so that must mean he likes me a little bit, right? Then later, in the evening, his stupid friends came over to talk to him (which I wasn't very happy about but hey, life is unfair sometimes).

OH he's so cute! The way he talks, the way he moves his eyebrows when he talks... (when he was talking to me, he did this thing with his eyebrows; sort of twitches them and frowns in this really cute way, as though he's confused/thinking). I also love the way he towers over me. I am short of his shoulder by a couple of inches XD.

He's 19 :D aaaand...he goes to college in England. In London. Wow. He really must be rich. His name is Zack...

But you know, being the idiot that I am, I don't know my own number and it totally slipped my mind that I could have used my mom's, dad's or brother's phone to get it. So he doesn't have my number, I don't have his...URGH I AM GOING CRAZY HERE!! Luckily, because his family is friends with some of MY family's friends, I haven't lost him completely. Haha.

Sorry for the long post. I had a lot going on in my mind :)

Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you

Today has been very eventful for me. For starters, Will started talking to me! YAY! But on the negative side, I was so nervous, I barely said anything back. This is bad because you see, when I don't smile, I look like I'm glaring. So he must think I'm a stone-cold evil psychobitch or something haha! Oh well. Also, I think he might think I have a thing going on with Alex because he's seen us two hanging out together alone a lot. What? Can't two friends who feel absolutely nothing for each other chill?

So Will asked me if my hair was naturally straight. I nodded. That was it. LOL. Well, I kept noticing him glancing at me and shit. Eh. Who am I kidding? I don't even like the guy much. He's alright. Good looking stoner. But has an annoying voice haha.

I heard some very interesting rumours about me. Apparently, I am currently dating Rafael. He's one of my new close friends. Never noticed him before but I'm in his Biology class. I thought this so-called little piece of truth was hilarious because I am so NOT dating Rafael. We're just friends. But it's so funny.

Oh! I'm going to London as part of a school trip in mid-July! Only for like, 3 days though. Hope the weather is nice!!

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?

I love how Taylor Swift's songs are so easy to relate to. And how they are so realistic! Many songs nowadays are all about love, sex and drugs, but Taylor's are so cute and innocent. Very teenager-like. She is totally my all-time celebrity idol.

It's funny how I freeze up and get all shy around Will. People say that I am really bubbly and perky. It's because he's so beautiful and perfect. I just wish his personality was as perfect. I've been told that he's really funny but his sarcasm can often come across as rude and insensitive. And that although he's good-looking, he would make a really bad boyfriend. It's such a shame; to let all that beauty go to waste. Only thing is, as gorgeous as he is, I personally don't think we'd go together very well because he's insensitive and sarcastic, whilst I am demanding and very sensitive. But we're both really impatient and cynical. So...actually, I don't know HAHA.

I did something rebellious a few days ago. I smoked. o_O!! Lol, actually it's not even that bad. Or rebellious. Though my parents would kill me if they found out.

It doesn't taste that bad, actually. The reason why I'm so surprised is because I hate the smell of it. It always gives me a headache and nausea. It pretty much tastes like how it smells but in your mouth, it's not so bad. Kind of hot but in a nice way (personally).

Also, I think my singing voice has deepened LOL. Like, gone huskier or something. It could because of that cold I got about a week or so ago. I recovered a couple of days ago and that horrible cough has majorly cleared up but it's lingering. I wonder if it was the presence of the cough that made my voice break!!
XD

Love me, hate me

I watched Prince of Persia and Donnie Darko last night, and I can safely admit that I have fallen in love with Jake Gyllenhaal. Like, completely. Of course I knew who he was (like, who doesn't?!) but I'd never found him that attractive. Until I watched Prince of Persia and Gyllenhaal talking in that delicious English accent was just...oh my GOD. So then I watched Donnie Darko (have watched this before, and previously thought he was just a weird character) and realized what a cutie he was 10 years ago! If he was my age and went to my high school, Christ, that boy would never be short of a date to the prom or whatever.

Now, is it just me or does Jake Gyllenhaal look slightly stoned sometimes? Or...all the time. Eh, it's probably just me. But yeah, the point is, I think he has a natural stoner face. And because of recent events (the beautiful Will), I've suddenly developed a taste for stoner boys.

By the way, have I mentioned that I've purchased my very first pair of circle lenses? They arrived like, 2 days ago. Jeez, I had a hard time concealing them from my mom. My dad doesn't give a shit but my mom...GOD that woman has the eyes of a hawk, I swear! When it arrived in the mail, I ripped a huge bright orange sticker from the back of the package (small, thank goodness) that said in big black letters, CIRCLE LENSES. Then I raced upstairs to hide it in my wardrobe. I was slughtly surprised bug greatly relieved that my mom didn't ask me what the package was, but the following day, sure enough, I heard those dreaded words, "So what was in the package?"

Gulp.

I said jewelry so smoothly that even I couldn't tell that I was lying! Wow, I am getting good. Not that it's anything I'm actually proud of. Lying is BAD, ya hear me?!

Anyways, maybe I'll post some photos later.

You can stand under my umbrella~

I want a lot of things but do you know what I really want? I want a wool coat with a furry hood. I know that it's summer and winter's a long way away but I've just always wanted a coat with a fur lined hood!! My mom's going to kill me because I've found the perfect one and I'm planning on buying it next weekend with her credit card. She's gonna freak because if I stop and think, I actually do already have numerous coats and besides, it's summer! But I really want it...!

I'm ill. It sucks because I've lost my voice. Hopefully my throat should heal and I'll be better by next week because I'm planning on recording some lines then. Bleurgh!

One thing I really hate is prejudice. And stereotypes and racism. Okay, that's 3 things but whatever. I saw some things on the internet - stuff like, "Why do Chinese people have small eyes and flat faces". By Chinese, they mean Asian people. That's really stereotypical and narrow-minded! Ignorant bastards. Sorry. Not ALL Asians have small eyes and "flat faces". Like, what does "small" really mean anyway? Limited in size? One person might think an object is small whilst another would disagree and say that it is big.

I'm really pissed off today for some reason. I think it's almost that time of the month...!

Gee - IU (ver) lyrics

I love IU's version of this song. So I pieced together the lyrics that she sang. It was...hard (for me, anyway) because I wasn't sure what she was saying.


Neomuneomu meotjyeo nuni nuni busyeo
Cheotnune banhaesseo tteollineun geol
Gee gee gee baby baby 
Gee gee gee baby baby

Oh neomu bukkeureowo chyeodabol su eobseo
Sumeul mot swigesseo sujubeun geol
Gee gee gee baby baby
Gee gee gee baby baby

Eotteoke hajyo 
Tteollineun naneun
Molla molla molla
Molla mollahamyeo maeil geudaeman geurijyo

Chinhan chingudeureun malhajyo
Jeongmal neoneun jeongmal motmallyeo
babo geuraeyo geudael boneun nan

Neomu banjjak banjjak nunibusyeo No No No
Neomu kkamjjak kkamjjak nollan naneun Oh Oh Oh
Neomu jjaritjjarit momi tteollyeo Gee Gee Gee Gee Gee
Jeojeun nunbit Oh Yeah joheun hyanggi Oh Yeah Yeah Yeah

Translation:

You're so so handsome
My eyes my eyes are blinded
I was captured from first glance, I'm trembling
(Gee gee gee baby baby)
(Gee gee gee baby baby)

Oh I feel so embarrassed
I can't look at you
I can't breathe because I feel shy
(Gee gee gee baby baby)
(Gee gee gee baby baby)

What should I do?
About my trembling heart
Don't know, don't know, don't know
I don't know why but every day I long for only you

My close friends tell me
That I'm really a helpless fool
Yes as I look at you

So bright so bright My eyes are blinded no no no
So surprised surprised I'm shocked oh oh oh
So exciting exciting, my body is trembling gee gee gee gee gee
Oh glittering eyes (oh yeah) Oh sweet aroma (oh yeah yeah yeah)

LOL VERY inaccurate translation. I apologize because I can't speak a word of Korean, nor am I Korean. All I did was piece together the English teanslation of Gee in line to what IU was singing :)

Gosh I love this song!

You've got your way of speaking

If you're wondering what the hell I'm doing up so early in the morning, it's because I just randomly woke up and now I can't get back to sleep. Really annoying! So I thought I might just write a little something here :)

I was just reading some websites about 'double eyelids' and the 'double eyelid surgery'. The surgery itself sounds really painful and post-surgery sounds...uncomfortable. Your lids will be sore for a few weeks (this is as expected) and discolored for MONTHS?! What if you end up going blind or something?? You know, it's at times like these that I'm super glad I have double lids. Sure mine aren't exactly how I want them. I've frequently considered surgery in the past but after reading this...NO MORE NO WAY! I just...can't.

I was talking to Will the other day. Hehe. We had a history test and we were just going through facts. However, Alex was there and I seriously love the dude, but I kind of wanted him to GTFO. Haha, no that's cruel. It was more like, 'Please leave'.

But then something happened! I turned to say something to Alex when I noticed Will looking at me so I looked at him. It must have looked really weird to Alex though, haha. I'm sat there, talking to him but looking at someone else. I couldn't look away; his eyes are really beautiful. This turquoise-green color? Just mesmerizing! This 'eye-connection' was like, 5seconds long, which isn't that long but it's a long time to be staring at someone.

Oh God, I can't forget those eyes! I also noticed his pupils being really dark and prominent. They kind of appeared to be slightly dilated or something? I read somewhere that dilated pupils mean that you're attracted to someone, so I hope to God that he's noticed me. However, another thought has just popped into my mind. He could have been stoned. Will does pot? So his pupils could have been dilated because of that. Jeez.

So, now I'm starting to feel a little sleepier. Guess I'll write more later ;)

Losing my mind when I saw you here

Been a while since my last entry! Sorry, I've been so busy with things, mostly school... *BIGSIGH* But the good news is that around mid-June, I'll be free again YAY!

Mitsucchi asked to do this song with me: Ma Boy by SISTA19. I love it now, it's a really cool song. I'm excited to hear how it will turn out :) There's also these really cool rap bits, one big one in Korean and a little one in English at the start. I can't wait to try them out. I know that Mits will sound lovely cute and pretty as GODDAMN FREAKIN ALWAYS!! haha :)

Oh and I've started crushing on this guy. He's called Will and he's so beautiful! He's got perfect pale skin and the cutest curly mop-like hair ever, like a doll. Of course he's taller than me, EVERYBODY'S TALLER THAN ME. And oh my gosh, his eyes are the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen!! They're a turquoise kind of color, and they sparkle. I swear, they SPARKLE!

Ohh I sound like SUCH a girl! Lol. I've only talked to Will a couple of times before in the past, but that was before I started noticing him (how could I have not noticed him before?!) He's friends with Nick, so maybe I can get Nick to help me. Nick and I, we both don't want to ruin our friendship so we've decided to not let anything happen and move on.

Anyway, back to Will. Oh I really want to get to know him properly! I can't say if he's worth it or if I'm actually serious about himbecause I don't really know him that well. Guess I'm only majorly attracted to him then. I want to know if his personality is nice, and that he's one of the good guys, not a jerk. Only thing is, he's kind of a stoner. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just that if we did happen, I'm not too sure that my parents would approve...OH WELL. It's not like I listen to them anyway, right?

Run baby run

Oh my God. I really want to go to Hong Kong. I've just been looking at photos of my aunt's vacation to HK and Christ, it looks amazing!! I HAVE to go. It looks especially beautiful at night. Kind of reminds me of NY but way more exotic because it's CHINA!!

I'm actually considering going just before i head off to college. Like, the summer vacation of 2012? I'll be 18 then so I will be old enough. Me and Katy can go. Her parents will probs be okay with it, since they're from Hong Kong and Katy speaks Cantonese so she'll totally be savvy. Haha. But she's not fluent so...

And then there's the money issue. How expensive will it be? Definitely at least $2000 if we go for a week especially in summer as it's the peak season. Hmm. And what if we run out of money or something?? Disaster!! But it's Hong Kong!

I soooo want to shop there though. Haha I am SUCH a girl! HK do really good designer fakes, don't they?

Like it or love it or leave it

Isn't jealousy a darned thing? It is definitely not my best friend. I hate it when I get all green-eyed. Speaking of which, green eyes are really beautiful, I love green eyes but only when they're in terms of eye color and not jealousy. Haha.

Oh god. I got a C in Biology and a C in Chemistry for this test and now my parents, especially my mom, keeps going ON about it. Can't they just let it go already? It's not like I'm destined to board the C-grade ship.

And about this Nick problem, I think I'm going to let it go. I really can't be bothered with him and I am soooo not going to wait for him to grow up and be a man! Lol. But seriously, I think I've wasted enough time on him (and you guys have wasted enough time reading about him lol). So now I will focus on things that truly matter. Shopping. Just kidding :) I mean school *yawn*

I've gone off Vampire Diaries and recently I've become obsessed with Gossip Girl again. I've only gone and downloaded the entire first season and part of the second. I know I'll get sick of it and eventually drift back to Vampire Diaries. It's a vicious cycle, I swear!

All my agony fades away when you hold me in your embrace

I haven't been feeling like myself recently. Is it bad that all i need is him? And by him, I mean Nick. Its really bad because I actually feel like shit and depressed because I feel so lost. I seriously don't know what to do. I think I should tell him how I feel. If he's my friend...he deserves the right to know. I'm so scared that I'm falling in love with him. I'm not kidding. This is serious. And I'm really afraid that our friendship will be ruined because he doesn't feel the same way. I only wish I could stop myself from falling so hard.

I don't know how he feels towards me because we never have massive heart to hearts about feelings. Never. Even though he's my best guy friend. I don't know why but I think we both feel this big awkwardness hanging in the air whenever we mention 'feelings'. He's really hard to read sometimes. I heard a rumour a while back that he liked me and Rina told me she overheard that one of his friends saying, 'you like her, don't you?' and referring to me, but idk. It could be and it might not be.

I know that life isn't supposed to be easy but I really wish that it was sometimes.

One heart to break

I am having the worst day EVER. Like, ever.

I got out of school early because I went to the nurse's office and told her I wasn't feeling so good. She felt my forehead and said I had no temperature so I knew that I had to turn to more drastic measures. So I went into the toilet and threw up. Made myself threw up. That's bad, I know. I'm not bulimic though, I swear. I've never made myself throw up before, this is the first time. And may I just say right now that I WILL NEVER EVER DO IT AGAIN.

I just feel like absolute shit today. I just - I thought I got over Nick over Christmas break. It was nice to just get away but now? I think I'm falling for him again. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN! I can't stop think about him. See? It sounds so lame. This is so freaking disgusting. I hate this sick, soppy feeling. GRRR. I mean, it's not like he's the most attractive person in the entire world. He's not pretty like Paul Wesley, or sexy like Ian Somerhalder. Or, beautiful and godlike like Jamie. But he is my friend. The friend that I'm scared of falling in love with. Well, love is a bit of a strong word, so let's call it a crush. How middle-school of me, right? XD

My iPhone has broke. I dropped it in a mug of coffee. I'm awesome. Oh but I'm so dead when my mom finds out. She's gonna freaking kill me. Haha XD Maybe I can hide it from her. Yeah, sure I can ;)

One chance to keep from falling...

I am a total Vampire Diaries geek. LOOOL.

I got hooked onto it a couple of months or so back and because I got into it so late into the series, I missed the entire first season and the first 7 episodes of the second season. Well actually, I watched Miss Mystic Falls (the 19th episode of season one) and didn't get it, so I didn't watch the rest of it. But then I remembered sometime later and curiosity drew me in to watch it again. So I caught the 7th episode of season two (Masquerade) and then I kept watching the rest of it from then on :)

But obviously I didn't really understand because I had missed the entire first season (except the 19th one haha) so my dad got me the season one DVD for Christmas so I've been catching up like the geek that I am haha :3 so now I understand! *GEEK*

Now all I need is to catch up on the first 7 episodes of season two! I've bought The Return episode (2x01) off iTunes so I've watched it, saw the return of Katherine, saw John Gilbert leav (for now, presumably), saw Jeremy die and come back to life again and witnessed (omg) Damon's feelings come out! Aw.

Right now, I'm watching Bad Moon Rising (2x03). I've JUST finished watching Brave New World (2x02) and Caroline's a vampire after being smothered with a pillow by Katherine and having Damon's blood in her system at her time of death...

Wow xD This is a post dedicated to me and me watching Vampire Diaries haha. GEEEEEK :P